Interpersonal conflicts are inevitable as they are one of the
few encounters where everyone will face in their life. These conflicts usually
occurs when there is a misunderstanding between two parties or more. From my
perspective, one should find the root of the conflict in order to resolve it
before it gets out of hands.
For this post, the conflict that I will be describing is
between my brother and sister. Being the youngest in the family, my sister always
get the luxury of being pampered at home. My brother, on the other hand is 7 years
older than her and is considered as the responsible one among us three siblings.
My mom is the housewife in the family and does not work while my dad has just
retired from his workplace and is no longer employed. My dad intends to use his
savings earned for my mom’s and dad’s retirement. As both my sister and I are still
schooling, my older brother is now supporting us both by working
two jobs.
An incident occurred last Friday when my sister asked my dad
for some pocket money when she wanted to go out. Upon hearing the conversation,
my older brother who just reached home from his work, started to scold my
sister for asking money from my dad. My sister started to argue back at my
brother as she claims that the money she asked for is for her school project. Despite the explanation from my sister, my
brother was still persistent and demanded by shouting to my sister that she
should not ask for money from my dad as she was so used to getting it from my
dad instead. Upon hearing my brother shouting, my sister started to cry and
locked herself up in her room.
Until today, both my brother and sister are no longer talking
to each other. It is true that my sister is pampered at times but perhaps my
brother should not have responded that way towards her. My brother on the other
hand, who is often tired from his two jobs to support us, finds it difficult to
understand the needs of my sister. If you were in my situation, what would have been done to make the situation better?
Edited: 18/03/2016
Commented on:
Mei Ying
Kok Zheng
Steven
Edited: 18/03/2016
Commented on:
Mei Ying
Kok Zheng
Steven
Hello Syai! After reading your blog post, i think that your brother should not have raise his voice against your sister. I believed that communicating with each other would have been a better approach for your brother and sister. If your sister understand the intention of your elder brother, things might have been more positive. Thank you for sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Syai, for sharing this intimate family conflict. You describe the scenario with quite a bit of detail, outlining the position of the 'actors' involved. My only concern is with the question you present since it isn't really focused on a 'method of resolution.' The obvious answer to what you have posed, in short form, is 'no,' your bro should not have shouted. Can you imagine a better focused question?
ReplyDeleteHi Brad, thank you for the feedback. I have re-edited my post changing the question at the end instead of making it an obvious answer. I do hope this post is better. Looking forward to get more comments from you so i could actually work on the flaws in my writing. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Syai. I think you've made the question more appropriate, more focused on resolving the conflict. :)
DeleteHi Syai,
ReplyDeleteIn regards to your post and your brother position, I understand why he is angry at your sister. It is tough to be the sole income in the family , as that comes with the constant pressure and responsibilities and your sister was also not at fault, as there are projects that requires us to spend some money.
If I was in your position, I was talk to both your brother and sister separately and get them to understand each other's position in this scenario as your brother might have thought that your sister is not being understanding of your family's position and your sister thought your brother was not in position to say no to her as she was asking your father instead. getting them to understand each other's position, they will most likely understand why they reacted that way and maybe will be friendly and talk with each other in the future.
Hi Syai!
ReplyDeleteAs I have siblings myself, I know how upsetting it is to see your siblings fight among themselves and are not in talking terms. You might feel inclined to solve the conflict especially if everyone is living under the same roof.
As mentioned by Angela, if i was in your position, i would talk to both of them separately. I would then get both of them to put themselves in each other's shoes and understand why each reacted that way. From there, i would initiate both of them to apologise to each other and start forgiving and forgetting.
After all, blood is thicker than water right?
Regards,
Hany Humaira